i'm tired of suppressing my gayness in real life, i think vrchat made me too much of a girl and I don't know how to not make it explode in the outside world

maybe the first logical step would be anti-depressants since I might actually be depressed and then see if I still want to be a girl or not

i must've gotten mentally groomed into thinking like that but then i still doubt it since my friends aren't bad people but there's still this thing behind my head that tells me they are

I'm so scared and incompetent in this world but I don't want to become a 41%