>>344849070
but sadly because no one pushes me I wind up ghosting them and then i'm in a situation where I want to talk to them again but they don't want to talk to me, or if they do they see I haven't changed because I'm just so fucked in the head. The only thing that has changed for me lately is that I believe in god, but it doesn't change how lazy I am. I don't know what to do about anything in life. I try to be a streamer and the moment I notice no ones coming to watch I stop streaming for a week. When I get like 10 people watching I get nervous and try to hard. I don't know how to do shit as an adult specially since no one ever taught me how to do shit. I was in special ed my whole time during school and the teachers didn't care about anything. I would literally write up bullshit and they'd give me an A because they couldn't read my hand writing. My final year in high school I never went to any of my classes but still got my diploma at the end of the year. I am literally just a side character in this game of life.