Suffering is all I see. When I drink or smoke myself retarded, I see less. I see less suffering. Exitence becomes less painful.

Why does everyone pretend to not see it?
Do they really not see it?
I can't be some special human who see's this magical suffering, that's dumb.
Why do you all pretend and ignore?
Nothing but a bunch of glorified bullies emulating what their high school bullies did now.

Your past self is a ashamed of what you are

I'm ashamed of you, too. Deeply ashamed.