I find myself having this uncontrollable urge to defecate in public places.
Last week I took a big dump in a convenience store, in the fruit and veg aisle.
Then, I went to the library and dropped my lunch in the section featuring romance novels.
The stench nearly made my eyes water.
Finally, I undid my drawers and slapped a 3 logger on the back of a bus.
It hit the floor like someone hitting a concrete floor with a wet towel.
It stunk bad.
Am I maladjusted degenerate or a maverick anti hero?