*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
>Yep, that's me. Now, you're probably wondering how I got here! To understand, we need to go back.
*rewind*
>Footage of Index unboxing. Montage of Anon playing various VR games
[The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice playing in background]
>Shot of Anon on his back screaming "please please please, cum in my ass" 
*laugh track*
*sound of broken glass*
>Oh shi-
*dramatic zoom to SteamVR Input screen showing stick drift*
>This winter, someone pulled the plug on him!
[Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise starts playing]
>Montage of Anon mashing F5 on Index Controllers store page, walking around the room and ripping his hair out
>Cut to Anon inside a phone booth
>"Gabe, I've got the money.... what the fuck do you mean back-order until April.... Alyx comes out in March you fat fuck!" *sounds of hanging up, Anon destroys phone*
>Cut to Anon scrolling on ebay, losing his temper at scalper prices
>Slow motion montage of Anon destroying his PC and trashing the room
>Cut to Anon lying on his floor with VR on and no controllers
>Camera slowly pans out, fades to black
>"What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
>Coming this winter!