>>390697734
If I don't drink, I can see them.
If I can see them, I can't sleep.
If I can't sleep I can't do my job properly.
If I can't do my job properly I won't have a job.
So drinking = job = comfy monotoney where every day just bleeds into the other but at least I do something I mildly enjoy instead of just being in a pit of selfloathing and depression.