*slowly and awkwardly waddles into the thread, his armor rattling and fat sloshing from side to side with each love he takes*
*huffs through visor, lifts it a bit to bite a chunk from the large pizza to refuel, downs it with a large coke he stole from his workplace at mcdonalds*
damn it... im late... 
*takes 45 minutes to get down on all fours to not break legs*
*pulls out phone and marks daily workout as done*
*presses nostrils against the ground and takes a long sniff*
i smell donuts...
the thread goblin was here...
*takes a bite out of a nearby cum donut*
fear not fellow anonymous for i dal290 the leader of VRG aka goblin slayer have come to slay the evil thread goblin shitting up my thread
take refuge in the discord for the time being, huff...
*takes a break to eat another pizza before continuing*
its just one guy...