anons how bad did I fuck up?

lewded a lot(both m&f) but never got attached to anyone
then met someone(m) I actually connected with on levels I didn't realize were possible for me
we got super close, he felt even more close to me than I did to him, I reached peak happiness, but then we got into an argument that we never recovered from
it kept going for months with us getting hot and cold until we stopped talking
I still think about him every day and based on his status and things I hear from mutuals he thinks about me
but neither of us can admit it to each other because we just get into an argument again due to our past
so right now we're just both trying to forget each other, I know I'm failing, and he borderline quit vrc when we stopped talking, after playing it for 5k+ hours

meanwhile now this one girl in vrc(irl cis f) is totally into me
she sent me the friend request on vrc, also on discord
she always joins on me or starts conversations with me
she tells me private things about her life that she didn't share with anybody else and admits it to my face
she casually hints interest in both erp and irl sex when we hang out
she is into videogames and has guy-like hobbies, she's way more fun to just chill out with compared to most girls I met both irl and online
she has full body vr and lots of free time

a year ago I'd be feeling like I'm impossibly lucky and do everything in my power to get closer to her
but the reality today is that I'm never even in the mood to message her
instead today all I can think about is him... and I know there is no point in me and him ever talking again because even if we do we'll just argue and fight again and I'll miss the old days

at one point I tried to block him but it didn't work
at another point I tried to befriend him again and get really close again but it didn't work either
now we're not blocked but also don't talk anymore

I can't move on with life
I feel empty and on the brink of crying
zero motivation

I regret buying vr