>want to receive forgiveness
>dont exaclty know what i did wrong
>constantly told im a piece of shit
>figure i deserve it
>start self punishing myself with isolation and self harm
>i just get worse
>self discipline isnt working
>just end up feeling worse
>dont even login to vr anymore
>let alone vrchat
>just wanted to be anon-kuns friend
>just wanted their affection
>i just wanted affection without politics
>maneuvering between the anonpills stories
>being careful with what i say
>and somehow i backstabbed them
>constantly searching
>i punish myself again
>i deserve it so its ok