Accusing a person of “playing the victim” is a neat way of dismissing another person’s problems. Basically, it is saying that the person is not taking responsibility for their own part in the problem distressing them. It is also a way of claiming a person’s problems are not really that bad and the complaints are only being used to gain attention and pity from others.

This accusation serves a few purposes.

One purpose is as a defense. By accusing a person of “playing the victim,” it helps you to avoid the sense of obligation of helping that person. It also removes a sense of guilt for your own part in victimizing that person or the sense of guilt that you might be able to help that person but don’t want to.