>>359044974
>what do you like doing on your free time?
This is probably the core issue. I have to force myself to do anything. I have a list of things to do every day to ensure I don't just spend it all idly browsing the internet and watching youtube videos. I draw every day, but I wouldn't want to talk about it because it would just be awkward if they ask to see anything and it's kinda bad which would be incredibly awkward if I pretend to be enthusiastic about it. I've studied a language every day for years, but everyone I've found is either a total beginner or completely fluent so it's impossible to really communicate with either; either the beginner runs out of things to say and isn't interested in an impromptu lesson, or I can't engage on a completely fluent level so they master gets bored of the limited conversation we can have. If I play games, its only for an hour or less because they're so mentally exhausting so I'm not good at them and have very little to say. I've tried various other things in the past and it's the same for everything, I just keep forcing myself to do it and it's not something I can ever talk about with others. I just have an extremely boring mindset for other people and pretending I don't isn't sustainable at all.