I had another nightmare today. Couldn't focus at work, they really fuck up my day sometimes. I was trapped again and forced to do things under black mail. At times it feels almost like relieve but then it turns into another eye-opening moment - almost a revelation of sorts - when that familiar feeling comes up. It's hard to describe it... it's a mix of anger, sadness, worry, a feeling of something bad I suspected being confirmed. Very negative and overwhelming. I'm scared, I just want to be free of this.