Jelly telling me in trash he's "defeated" me is so funny

I'm so close to killing myself amd I don't even know of I'm joking this time

If I really did want to kill myself I would not be coming the the fucking nsfw chat of vrg discord to announce it

I'm tired.
I'm always so tired of everything, someone asks me to do something and I'm just tired.
I'm shutting down, I have so many people to talk to - so many people that care about me
But I always feel so stupidly alone
I *have* friends but it never helps
Yet I weirdly feel so carefree about everything, I've fucked something up that took me a year to do but I... don't care? I'm skipping work just because I don't care
I think about suicide, I think about how it would affect those around me.. yet I'm increasingly becoming more carefree as to how it will impact any one
I just want a way out of this hole
I'm just so tired
I see no path for me at all in life and I can't see more than a month or two into the future
Maybe it's a prediction
"beware of jealous! It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on."
I hate being jealous.
[spoiler]>>371498015
Yes, it's fun stop taking everything you do so fucking seriously[/spoiler]