I'm not an attention whore for desiring basic positive human interaction I'm watching many many people around me get, I just want a place to belong but I'm too much of a fuck up to ever get this. I will never be treated like a normal human being it's impossible I'm too much of a fucking retard. Every time I convince myself this time it'll be different but I always fuck up I'm some big way others don't appear to have done this my whole life I just am so, so tired and exhausted after a life of just this. I should just stop trying