search your feelings, you know this to be true
either you hold back all the nasty desires of flesh or you let go of the pretense that holding back meant anything but a ego jerk to you, if you hold back all the way to grave a nagging thought in the back of your head will tell you you missed out, if you fall into hedonism something tells you you failed a "test" you set up for yourself by the knowledge that some people are holding back on that
there is no good ending, you will be a coomer or a pure fag whining about coomers, the only way to be free from duality is to understand that all of those are just nametags in the wallmart of life, you are free when you want to be free no amount of meds posting can free you from your own self made death harness viper