>People always tell me how they like me and how im valuable to them
>they proceed to make fun of me and view me as a source of entertainment
>when i tell them that it gets too much they tell me that it is just friendly banter and that it is not serious
>this is enough for my shattered heart and mind to accept and go on beeing a clown. 
>the cycle continues until ethernal damnation finally catches up and i will be free