>>271571546
You took a step back but in the wrong way. You failed to accept how much you cracked. Sure some poked you and instigated the problem, sadistic fucks like poking others, this is 4chan after all. What you can't deny is how much the cracks in the personality happened outside of any provoking, you just flat out liked fucking with people, and if somebody stood in your way, you would become deadset on bulldozing them with everything you had. Multiple times you had it all, the chance to stay stable and be yourself, until somebody pissed you off. The dragon is untamable, but you have to let it go like this, and give it a leash, repressing it clearly doesn't work.

If you think fucking with a thread you hate is happiness you have become truly broken, transformation can come of it. I heard of your days hiding in your world, viewing the times you had, to turn and hurt what you once loved this much, or try and kill it with any means is not happiness, you just want some revenge and are fueled by it entirely. Its good in a way, but you need to go further, accept this state, don't lie, stop faking or putting on a mask or denying it, own it. You ran into this because of how much you did, denied, and covered up, go and face those who you believe hurt you, and speak your mind if they will listen, not with threats, or attacks, or manipulation, just what you believe they did wrong, then hear them out, stop trying to preform like a normal person or get along, learn to cooperate and exist, like this.