>>271657916

With what happened in the past couple of days I have essentially lost all faith in ever meeting a content creator that could change my mind. I am no longer willing to ever interact with any content creator, just from the sheer amount of negative experiences I had with them, including this one.

I'm trying to do as much as is humanly conceiveable on my own to protect myself from Chifuyu's harassment, but I don't have the power to take down his posts and videos. All I can do is send out a cry for help. This has never happened to me before. I'm most likely not going to be myself for a long time. I need all the support I can get because I don't have a therapy slot until end of october.

What keeps me moving is the fact that life for me has just begun and has been postponed by depression. It is not a fun condition. It's terrible, terrifying even when you think how it stops you from enjoying things you once loved to do. Here is a poem I keep listening to on loops right now to find motivation. There is also a saying, don't think 10 minutes about someone who ruined 10 seconds of your life. But I worry it feels like this is an attack that will leave marks for a lifetime.

I feel horrible. I don't know how to express the pain I feel now, but the closest thing is... imagine your jaw locking, then that pain running up your cheeks where it reaches your eyes pumping out tears regardless of your current emotional state. It's not right to deliberately make someone feel like that. There are people who wish I would perish, but few are willing to make it happen. Me?... I'm going to rage against the dying of the light.