i know it is hard with tism, but it isn't impossible
it leaves you vulnerable but that's the whole point
you can't reach past the layer to anything deeper unless you're both willing to let down your guard to be friends beyond casual
if it seems impossible for you to let down your guard hangout with masculine stoic men, they don't expect you to let down your walls au cuntraire they expect you to keep them up most of the time
just hangout with masculine men and don't break from banter