>>417084896
Public instances are usually shit, to many screaming quest kids or attention whores dwelling in front of mirrors while talking about their daddy issues. Most of them are not even in VR.

Your best chance is to find a group you think you click with and find them in vrchat. Either when they have a meetup or when some sort of event is happening.
Events and meetups are regularly posted here (with invitation links or people you need to join on).
Don't know how other communities do that.