if you have tism, are too pussy to open up and too pussy to handle banter you're fucked though
if that's the case pray that some gentle giant notices you and adopts you
>>337108194
unlike you i don't need to pretend it is anything but people wanting to hangout with people they like to hangout with because they enjoy each others company and that gives them feel good
i am sorry you find honesty so revolting you have to lie to yourself and do mental gymnastics but ask yourself why you are not hanging out with boring people or people that annoy you and you will have a startling revelation on the truth
there is nothing to be ashamed or disgusted by there, it is just you finally finding your honesty after being indoctrinated to conform to the bullshit theater of masks that is politeness and expectations society imposes on you for what you consider to be the ideal "good person"