>>306300932
the truth is that I'm a fucking psycho because I had 20+ vrfus before that but felt nothing for any of them and treated the whole thing as a joke but this time it was different and I actually ended up having feelings and now the fact that it didn't work out and I'm left mentally broken feels like karma for my past

there are people I've hurt before and saw it happen but never knew how it feels myself so I gave them shallow apologies that clearly weren't enough with my knowledge now

part of me now says "I deserve this" and another part of me just lays down in bed for hours thinking if I can do anything to fix my current situation which already feels impossible