>>296451818
Let me put it more plainly to be clearer on why it makes me feel like a fucking retard - someone occasionally joins meetups and is usually off in the corner silently watching, So, you go out of your way to give them attention because they appear to lack confidence and might be sad about not being involved/ able to get involved in the meetup without someone reaching out. That's not me forcing my views or treating someone like 'property', that's trying to be nice to someone who needs it. So when you find out that they're actually _so_ confident and socially active that they have their own Discord server, and that you were never a part of it, and then to hear that you're just one of hundreds on their friends list and no more important than any of them - you can see how this makes you feel fucking stupid. Like this person fooled you into thinking of them as something other than they actually are. And the tables flip. They were never the wallflower who lacked confidence, and you're nothing more than a name on a list. Fuck you for trying to be a good person, kind of thing.

It's this kind of shit that forces me into making only the most shallow of friendships in order to avoid gaining expectations or feeling let down, which is something I'm trying hard to overcome.