>>352073403
Some of my closest friends aren't in my Discord server. It's not because we're not friends, it's because they're not interested. If you want to be in a server, you usually just need to ask about it. People tend to assume others have a full slate of servers, and shilling your Discord in VRChat is a bit rude, so this stuff can go under the radar for a long time. Personally I don't have enough attention in a day to keep up with even half the ones I'm in, but don't want to leave most of them because I might miss out and need to ask to be re-invited, which would be embarrassing.
Discord is a shitty social network that's built to induce FOMO. Just DM the people you care about and don't worry about your status otherwise.