>>326832203
I think there's also another aspect to female avatars in a mostly male community that provides utility; By having avatars as representations of what we desire to fuck rather than what we desire to be, we limit the ways in which people can harm our self-esteem. If I turn up to a meetup as a sexualized loli, some may call me based while others will cry pedo in abject disgust but the worst they can do is question my taste in fap material. My 'self' isn't even close to being defined by that so the harm they can do to the real me is minimal, insult my avatar in any way you want but it's not me by a wide margin so I'm safe.

As soon as I begin to identify the avatar as a representation of myself that safety erodes. Negative comments about my aesthetic choices cut deeper because they were made based on my own hopes and values instead of what my direction my dick moved in that day. They may make me question those values, some of which are core to my identity and sometimes for the worse. Maybe this is why some people take things so personally in VR. 

It's not a question of growing a thicker skin, it's simply easier for me not to need any skin in the first place.