>>315753556
You have a mental illness. Your thought process is irrational and delusional. Your subconscious brain loves the situation you're in and loves all the brain chemicals that get release during the emotional swings caused by your social problems. There are no secrets being withheld from your from your friends that can magically fix your problems once you know them. There are no steps they can take that can fix all your problems for you. 
Only you can fix them once you acknowledge the root cause of your problems are you and only you.