I feel like I'm going in circles a bit but maybe it's like an orbit where eventually if I push close enough, I'll make it in. 

Realising once again how I'm not on people's minds for including on things - how do I change this? Maybe the question should be, how do I get some close friends who I know I can count on to think of me, and then not worry when others don't? It's not enough for people to know me if I still get left on the outside.