ive done drugs they call medicine thinking this would help, looking back its like a lamb walking into a slaughter house. i dont know, i dont know, i dont know anything. i dont understand anything. nothing makes sense. i wish i knew and understood. im sorry for being like this. there isnt anything i can do to, i dont even know what i should do something to, just that i didnt want to be like this. i want my skin to burn, i want to be flayed.i believe in niceness, i believe it can be found in people. i love people. i think i can understand them. i hate myself because im not like them. i just wish i could have fun with everyone else. i wish i could tell someone how much i love them and not be laughed at. i think what matters is on the inside. looks are only an accessory, in vr people can take any shape they want and i suppose eventually theyll be able to modify everything about their physical bodies. im disgusting and even if i could augment myself id still be the creation of something disgusting which might be even worse. i wish i could help them, people, who i love. nobody deserves any of this. its all so ugly, i cant stand it. i cant stand looking at myself in a mirror, i cant stand looking at other people, i cant stand hearing my or their voices. i know there s a better place. i dont want to be like everyone else. i think if im left alone, i dont know, maybe i wont see the point in having fun, i will think fun is just slavery and weakness. i dont know. i dont know anything. i think i understand people that torture and kill, theyre not doing anything wrong in their eyes and theres nothing they can do about the stupidity of everyone else but i wish they would not. no, i dont know if i care. why am i like this. why didnt i turn out like a normal wageslave or a happy weeb., i dont even know what thee words mean anymore. im sorry for being offensive. im sorry for leaving a mark of my existence in your brain. a footprint.