>>340284201
Here is the thing:
There is no other place that seems to fill that hole more than my heart, but on the other hand it is unreachable and makes me want to die, because life without the person i love is a mess.

Wish i could make something clear: This is not a falling out, but only a change of heart. It could be that we do not have any contact any more for our reasons. But also this could be an "out". It does not mean that our love is over and that we do not love each other any more, just that we do not want to take the risk of more contact any more. It could also be that you had no idea how bad it could be before. We also have said several times, that we understand that it is your pain and i thought that you would have understood it as well, but maybe there is more, than i thought.
I hope you will still have the strength to go on in life, but take the time to think about your relationship. I know, how hard it is to do that, but i wish you all the best.